Tag Archives: Philosophy

10 Traits of Independent Women

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An independent woman is the “together” woman that gets results in life that she is actually looking for…

10 Power Traits of Independent Women:

1) She has clearly defined goals.
2) She knows what she doesn’t want AND what she wants…and she’s not afraid to go after it.
3) She’s secure with herself and always motivated for success.
4) She lives in the moment without losing sight of her future.
5) She attracts the right kind of people into her life that both accept and support her.
6) She releases her baggage, outmoded beliefs, and relationships that no longer serve her best interest.
7) She has a high sense of self worth, deserving-ness, and purpose.
8) She doesn’t give up easily and picks herself up after setbacks.
9) She picks her battles and thinks before acting.
10) She takes care of herself and is aware of her needs.

The “Big 10”

Can you add to this list? Is there anything you would take away? The “Big 10” here are qualities that every woman not only deserves, but needs to have to live a satisfying life. However, due to social conditioning (since practically birth) women often never have the chance to develop these qualities that most men seem to show from an early age.

Dump Your Baggage

If you want to become stronger, happier and more independent, you have to start at the ground level by releasing your past and the conditioning you received from others that helped to create it. If you’re still carrying around hang-ups and beating yourself up, let me be the first to tell you that it’s not going to help. All negative self talk and image really does for you is negatively reinforce all those things you don’t really like about yourself and your life. Even the people in it…you know…those people that probably never belonged in there in the first place.

Reframe

Reprogramming your subconscious mind and the patterns it creates for you with new positive frameworks is the easiest way to go to accomplish your personal transformation into a successful, independent and purpose driven woman. I’ve seen it innumerable times in my own work – we don’t think and act on a conscious level and it shows…and hurts. We are driven by subconscious patterns and beliefs and often never know it so we can’t consciously change it. Repeating negative pattern over negative pattern is a miserable existence!

Rewire & Replace

Rewiring your brain for good is actually a simple process. YES, really. We act based on what we are told, shown, etc. And then, the subconscious makes sometimes-weird connections to events and pretty soon we are right smack dab in the middle of making mistakes…and lots of them due to the stuff that fills our inner brain. To reverse the negative program process we simply feed that inner mind with all the good stuff that should’ve been put into it in the first place. Suggestions like you deserve to be happy, loved, successful, etc. are simple phrases we sometimes rarely, if ever hear and they are priceless in the boost they can provide us with when given in a steady stream.

Just DO It!

Make the decision to get on your fast track NOW. You deserve to create the strong, healthy bridge between your conscious desires and your subconscious programming so that you can finally maximize your success and happiness in life. You’ll be able to become the soul in this life you were meant to, so go ahead, decide today that you are going to dump those old patterns that have never ever probably really served you in any beneficial way anyway to make room to embrace something better. You just might be surprised and delighted at the new you and what you can do!

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Empowered Motherhood

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The Hamster Wheel

Today’s mom has many roles in life. Sometimes we play both mom and dad, balance a career with household and child rearing responsibilities, and rarely we might have a little time left over for ourselves in between carpooling and activities.  Cooking large homemade meals is, for many families, a thing of the past. It’s drive-thru’s and meals out of boxes and bags, and maybe even running out of clean school clothes to wear because there just isn’t enough time in the day to get everything done we feel driven to do. Some days, when we let it all get to us, we kinda feel like we are in a vicious circle, like we are that crazed hamster running endlessly on a squeaky wheel and can’t escape. 

The bright side is, we don’t have to feel this way. We have choices, choices and more choices on that matter, BUT…

While parenting is very rewarding, when things aren’t going so well with our children, we can become dis-empowered and slip into negative thinking. We might feel as if we are utter failures at parenting when our children display behavioral problems in school or at home, or when they are getting bad grades, and in later years, perhaps dropping out of school or deciding not to pursue a college education.  The scenarios are endless. For the aware mom that has devoted herself selflessly for years on end for the proper care and keeping of her child(ren), these types of situations weigh heavily upon our minds and hearts because we feel like if we’d just done ________, ________ would never have happened.

Invasion of the Body Snatchers

Once our kid(s) hit that magic age where peer acceptance becomes more important than that of parent’s, the struggle begins. Well-mannered, A/B student with presentable clothing disappears and we sometimes wonder if the body snatchers have invaded and swapped out our kid for perhaps a rude, angry, troubled child with failing grades and a wardrobe (and new friends) to cringe at.  Now in the event of neglectful parenting, an unstable home life, or some kind of trauma, we can better see and understand the “Why’s” behind less desirable changes in personality and habits. Conversely, within the more normal realms of life, these types of potentially alarming changes in a child arise not to make us feel like failures as a mom, but to bring our attention to the fact that our approaches and perspectives on behalf of our maturing child(ren) need to be re-examined and new structures developed.

As a mom of two myself (10 and 12), holistic therapist, and former teacher I have seen a multitude of scenarios and differences in parenting as well as the types of relationships moms have with their kids.  Nonetheless, when I face a situation in which my children aren’t “following the plan”, and acting in ways that don’t serve their highest purpose, I tend to beat myself up too, and wonder where I went wrong.  As time progresses though, I am becoming more mindful of this and learning to redirect the self blame into something more constructive and empowering. Even though we feel extremely responsible for our children’s success and well being, we have to get to the point of gaining a balanced perspective on what we can control when it comes to our children. It’s not easy, going to happen overnight, and it takes time, effort and repetition to change the way we automatically jump to self-blame mode when it comes to choices our children are making.

Something to Talk About

It may be that your child is struggling with an emotional, social or self-esteem issue you are unaware of. The most important opportunity we can take as moms, is the one in which our child is not thriving and doing what we can to bond strongly with them, gain their full trust, and get to the bottom of what’s causing the unhealthy behaviors.  Instead of feeling a sense of having failed as a mom, we instead need to take a red flag as an opportunity to reconnect with our child(ren) and do what we can to encourage them to believe in themselves, their happiness, and potentials.

It’s far too easy for the mom wearing many hats to get caught so caught up in the stresses and demands of working, relationships, parenting, etc., to get into the habit of not being as aware, present and empowered in their parenting.

The Generational Affect

There are no shortcuts to raising children better, healthier and happier than we were or are, which is the way I believe it’s supposed to be. We try to avoid perceived “mistakes” prior generations made for the ultimate purpose of raising children that are not weighted down by the issues we felt resulted from how we were raised.

Being a mom is the most important thing a woman will ever do, as we are creating an ultimate legacy to be carried on in each one of our children.  Does this mean mom shouldn’t have time to herself, or feel as if she needs to be a slave to her children? Absolutely not. What it means is that small mundane things that take up precious moments in our life can be traded in for something of the utmost importance – the time, teaching, loving and guiding of our children.

Sometimes in life things get off track to remind us we need to reinforce our attention and efforts. I believe the same applies to our children. Intervening at the first sign of a potential problem with our kids can avoid problems later down the road. At times, we may feel the need to have our child(ren) see a counselor, doctor, tutor or other professional that can perhaps better address the issue(s) they are experiencing better than we can. Simply becoming aware of an issue and bringing your attention to the fact that a red flag is a cry for your help, and doing something about it to help, is the best we can do.

In a Nutshell

Empowered parenting for moms is about realizing and accepting we wear many hats, and they can’t all fit on at once. Realizing there is no such thing as perfection or ultimate control is the first of many steps as we evolve into motherhood. Doing our best to be emotionally, mentally and physically available and present are the biggest gifts anyone will ever be able to give your child, and will leave a lasting, positive imprint on future generations. If we are not confident in our parenting as moms, something genetically, intuitively, and biologically wired in, what can we feel good about?

Accepting ourselves for who and what we are, being authentic and strong empowers us as mothers, not just as women.  Whether we fully realize our impact our actions will have on our children at a later time is not so much the issue, because if we are present, aware and empowered now, the choices we make on the best behalf of our children will take on a positive life of their own and carry forward.  We want our children to love themselves and be mentally, emotionally and socially well-adjusted, but how many of us as mom’s, women, wives, etc., do nothing but criticize ourselves and live with self-doubt, dragging around guilt and responsibility for a million things we truly have no control over?

The Three R’s

An imbalance of any kind, is simply a reminder that our attention and efforts need to be re-examined, re-focused and re-launched. Perfection is impossible when the mind and ego are the forces fueling our existence. Open awareness, positive intention and effort are the three most significant keys to being empowered as both a woman, and a mom.

 

In Your Dreams

ImageAncient Origins

Dream interpretation is a process of assigning meaning to dreams. In ancient times Egyptians and Greeks considered dreaming a gateway to divine communication and sometimes, intervention. However, the ancients believed that only individuals with certain powers had the ability to determine messages given during the dream state of consciousness. With practice anyone can learn to control dreams and determine types of messages and guidance to receive as well.

Dream interpretation has origins as far back as the 2nd century when Artemidorus created Oneirocitica, the first major work discovered on the meanings of dreams. Later, at the end of the 19th century, dream interpretation became part of Freudian psychoanalysis and is still used today in both psychoanalytic psychology and in hypnoanalysis. Hypnoanalysis, a “modern” technique, actually utilizes your dreams and hypnosis in conjunction with psychoanalytic and other techniques to determine causes of perceived blocks and areas of difficulty.

In ancient Greece, special temples called Asclepieions were constructed for afflicted individuals where cures would be affected through divine forces by dream incubation within the temple confines. We still view dreams today as significant in various capacities. As in the psychoanalytic process, dreams are widely believed to hold answers to hidden subconscious thoughts, feelings, and experiences and in addition, many believe we receive answers to life’s problems during sleep from divine sources. Some of us also receive prophecies, omens, and warnings when dreaming, as were received by the Pharaoh in Genesis and interpreted by Joseph.

Dream interpretation has also become part of popular and new age culture–Edgar Cayce is one example. Cayce believed that the dream process enables individuals to access our higher self. As a result of the connection, Cayce believed that all possible questions could be answered with the proper awareness from our inner consciousness. Many people experience phenomenal events during the dream state that cannot be rationally explained; these experiences range from OBEs, past life remembrances, to the witnessing of future events before the events occur.

New age culture often encompasses the belief that all people are connected to the Source on a soul level, and that information contained within the Source is universal knowledge of all that is, which we all have access to by tapping into the higher self. Scientifically, the part of the brain that controls REM sleep–the state where dreaming most occurs, is the pons, a primitive part of the brain stem that controls automatic reflexes like breathing. Since breathing is an involuntary function, the notion that the physiological, measurable changes that take place during REM sleep–including dreaming which can be physically measured, originates at the internal level–not from an external source.

As an individually spiritual person, I believe the scientific aspects of this theory solidly support the new age ideal that on a soul level, we all have access to divine knowledge and have the ability to tap into universal consciousness for purposes of guidance, answers, and healing. Dreaming is a natural therapeutic process that offers us the opportunity to experience altered states of consciousness that open the doorway to meeting our higher self, or the universal consciousness. All that we seek externally lies within, and can be accessed naturally, with awareness and practice. We each have the ability to program our dreams for answers to life questions and to effect healing on all levels while our physical bodies are at rest.

While we often perceive it easier, or more reliable to seek answers, guidance, and healing from external sources, the key to each of these lies within us already. With awareness and practice, dreaming for therapeutic purposes can be accomplished by anyone and integrated into daily life as an important tool for connecting consciously with the higher self, the source, and universal consciousness. The process of seeking through utilizing external sources can be helpful, but the same answers we seek from others are waiting to be realized within ourselves.

 

Finding Like Minds

ImageThere is nothing I find more inspiring than encounters with Like Minds.  Reading blogs, books and social media posts that resonate with me is an irreplaceable part of my day, as is a spirited conversation on philosophical subjects.

Often, when we are on the path to liberation and positive change, we tend to move away from those not in alignment or resonance with us, and toward those who are.  This can be an incredible experience!

Surrounding ourselves with those influences that empower us, awaken us, make us laugh and be inspired is the absolute best thing we can do for ourselves when we need a pick me up or stronger sense of direction in life.  The path of transformation itself becomes much easier when we realize we are not alone.

“Life is one big road with a lot of signs. So when you are riding through the ruts, don’t complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief, and jealousy. Don’t bury your thoughts, put your vision to reality. Wake up and live!” -Bob Marley

A Guide to Woman’s Intuition

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“A Woman’s Intuition” is the term used to describe the uncanny ability women often show as an active response to any number of situations that would be considered outside the realm of typical logic or reason in terms of knowing or feeling, or both.

It manifests itself in:

  • Romantic Relationships

  • With Children and Family Members

  • Random Situations

So, basically it’s safe to say that the Inner Compass of Woman responds naturally to a wide variety of stimulus we encounter on a daily basis.

So why do so many of us question it’s legitimacy?

We naturally get feelings and senses about most of the things we come into contact with on a daily basis without any logical, practical, or rational basis at all. Often, intuition is such an ingrained part of us, we tend to lose the ability to separate true intuition from who we are, instead rationalizing away the feelings or notions we get as imagination, nonsense, etc.

Women are innate nurturers; it’s in our biology. It is my belief that since we are so connected to that infinitely compassionate part of ourselves, recognizing and utilizing our intuition has it’s purpose in not only caring for (and about) others, but is also to be used for our highest good and fulfillment in life. However, we most often nurture ourselves last, or never at all!

Types of Intuition

A good way to distinguish innate intuition from guidance otherwise outside of the Self, is to listen to your thoughts and feelings in the context of “I’s”and “You’s”. Intuitive senses in the self form indicate it’s coming from an internal mechanism. These abstract translations typically operate from the place of our highest personal benefit. “You” type thoughts and feelings are typically coming from an outside force that most people identify with as an external guide, guardian, force, etc. of a positive nature.

In general, negative thoughts, feelings, etc., are not naturally occurring and usually come from a force outside of us that does not have our best benefit in mind. This could be illustrated as a sense of uneasiness toward a person, place or situation that has dark potentials, for example.

Additionally, any kind of negative thought or feeling we have about ourselves is typically the result of negative programming we are faced with in our environments, usually starting from a very young age when we are learning socially acceptable behavior. We are raised to believe every action, motivation, and belief we have should be acceptable to someone else and sets the bar for living a life for everyone else, neglecting the Self.

Embrace Yourself

It’s of the utmost important to allow ourselves the opportunity to determine who and what we are independently of the opinions, judgements and beliefs others hold about, or for us.

We are raised to believe that to be a strong, grounded woman we must exercise rationalism, practicality and logical thinking always. Erroneously, this primary type of thinking is the very thinking that most often leads us from the Path of Empowerment and Authentic Self. The result is that we end up living a life of misery, making choices for the benefit of pleasing others and/or fitting in, ultimately neglecting ourselves and our unique journey in life, and honestly, never really knowing who we are authentically.

“ The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” – C.G. Jung

 

Paths to Empowerment: How To Find Your Unique Niche in Life

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Inherently Unique

You are inherently unique. You have been blessed in infinite ways with specialized gifts from the Creator, which are also attached to an innate calling, or sense of purpose in this lifetime. These gifts equate to your special calling, which defines and drives you to find and execute your sense of purpose. Our experience of time is linear and seemingly concrete, though in the cosmic or universal sense, time is much more flexible and abstract. This means the opportunities we need to fully find and execute our sense of purpose may be presented to our awareness either early or later in life and may require part, or full-time attention.

 A Call for Change

Most of us go through periods in life where we feel restless and unfulfilled with relationships, career, life direction and finances. This dissonance can be recognized in two ways: either transition is coming into your life on its own, or its time to move forward and create transition for yourself. The difference between the two is that outside transitions seem to happen in unexpected ways and out of the blue, whereas an internal transition is the catalyst to begin moving into new directions in an effort to calm that sense of being unfulfilled or to heed the call for change.

 Things we are naturally good at or gifted with are indicators that those areas are ones in which are tied to your purpose. Whether it be helping, healing or teaching others, being a numbers or electronic whiz, or being extraordinarily gifted with words, music or artistic expression, these are all equally as important in finding and executing your purpose. Many people feel their gifts are not significant enough to make an impact on others, or are not as important or “great” as those others possess. This is simply not true. A rainbow wouldn’t be a rainbow without a multitude of colors. Just as we all represent a part of the creator and are equally as significant, so too are the gifts you possess to the world.

Breaking from Convention

In general, most of us begin our adult chapter by doing things in traditional, conventional ways that others expect from us. We may even go all the way through college studying something we don’t enjoy, find a job in the field and work it for many years before we decide we’re tired of living without a sense of fulfilled purpose. Others may come out of the gate marching to their own drum in search of finding that sense of doing what they’re supposed to be doing right away and others pass from this life to the next having leaving much work to do. In truth, our purposes are many throughout life and takes us through a multitude of different chapters. The question becomes, “How motivated am I to find and fulfill my purpose(s) in this life?”.

We know what we don’t want from life, as it’s reflected in how we feel about people and situations in a very noticeable way. Figuring out what you do want and how to get it can be much more difficult. However, with courage and a willingness to step outside of others expectations, convention, and tradition, everyone has the ability to explore, find and execute his or her purpose(s) in this lifetime. Ask yourself what your really good at, what you enjoy doing, and how you can harness what you have to offer in a way to assist, enrich and support or inspire others? Do you have artistic or musical ability? Great leadership skills? Are you a born teacher?

Multi-purpose Purpose(s)

 Whatever your purpose is, whether it be one or more, one which requires only a part-time commitment, or one that requires more, by finding and executing your purpose you open yourself up to an enjoyable existence – one which reignites passion for life, offers prosperity and abundance, and enriches humanity in some way as a whole.   Your gift to the world … is YOU.

“What you are seeking is seeking you.” -Rumi

 

Fear, Love and Many Shades of Grey

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 Are you living in love, or fear? Judged, or in judgement of others? Why? In today’s society, the lesser traits of humanity such as judgement, hatred (of the self and others) and dishonesty are running rampant among the infinite exchanges made among us on a daily basis. The truth is, when we judge others, we are judging ourselves, when we hate others, we are in essence, hating ourselves. Judgement and hate come from the same place; a lack of awareness in the Truth. The truth is, among the blurred values of black (fear) and white (love), we find the Many Shades of Grey, which represent a diversion from the Source, which is All Love.  A lack of self-love, for instance,  inhibits our ability to love another. 

Lack of awareness within, and of the self, provides an escape, a detachment if you will, from others. A kindred sense of unity, compassion and understanding is absent in our day-to-day plights. Most prevalent today is a gross lack of personal responsibility in every way imaginable.  Failure to take personal responsibility (for ourselves or others) only enables us to grow further and further away from our personal path and collective duty to better humankind. This in turn creates a detrimental trickle effect in which one lesser exchange produces infinite more of the same. 

Rare is a time in which someone opens a door for another, says please and thank you, and lends a helping hand when needed.  We have become consumed with materialism and how we present ourselves to the world. And in truth, there is nothing more demoralizing than living as an empty shell with scant semblance of human traits and qualities…

“If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives: Be kind anyway. If you are successful you will win some false friends and true enemies: Succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank people will try to cheat you: Be honest anyway. What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight: Build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous of you: Be happy anyway. The good you do today, will often be forgotten by tomorrow: Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough: Give your best anyway.”-Mother Teresa

Each of us has tremendous capacity for (self) love, understanding, compassion, understanding and caring for humankind; however, how often do we see these types of visible characteristics within ourselves or others? We are referenced as a “humanity”, yet true humanistic traits displayed among individuals are few and far between.  We can blame this deprivation of character on our parents, society, government, mental illness or imbalance and more. However, the irony is with this kind of mindset, that while we are busy blaming everything and everyone under the sun, moon, and stars very few people DO anything about it!

How can we expect humanity to pull together as a whole when so many of us refuse to even start with the basic work of self-awareness, becoming awake and authentic to who and what we are with a sense of purpose? 

T.S. Elliot said, “Home is where one starts from”, and I couldn’t agree more. Even something as simply as one small random act of kindness serves as the catalyst for many more of the same, as will one random act of thoughtlessness, rudeness or disregard.  It’s important for us to realize as a collective, positive change starts from within, and therefore moves naturally outward, seeking many targets as it goes.  To awaken and empower oneself is in its purest essence, a gift to all of humanity.

“It is because Humanity has never known where it was going that is has been able to find its way.” Oscar Wilde